A Few Thoughts Regarding the Last Month of Pregnancy

**If talking about pregnancy, babies, birthing, 

and all that goes along with it makes you feel uncomfortable, 

feel free to skip this post.**

I have decided that no woman should have to undergo weekly cervical exams beginning at 36 weeks (or 35 weeks and some odd days).  First of all, they're not fun.  Rather, they're quite uncomfortable.  And then, when the first two checks result in a "Well, this baby isn't going anywhere!" it becomes nothing but an uncomfortable waste of time.  

Then at 36 1/2 weeks you have a little panic attack because you are dilated and effaced and you really weren't expecting that.  And try as hard as you can, you can't keep your brain from translating those results into "Oh my goodness!  This baby is going to come any day!"  And round about the time you finally convince yourself that really this baby isn't coming any day, you go in again and you're dilated to 3cm!  I mean come on!  That's progress!  Surely the baby is coming today.

So by now, you're brain has been telling you for nearly two weeks that this baby is coming any day.  And every day without a baby is one more day leading to your complete insanity.  How many times should you be required to mop the floor and iron your husband's work shirts in preparation for a new arrival, just to have to do it again?  Your insanity starts to lead you to insane ideas, like going to the lake for a few days.  Because surely you could make it to the hospital an hour and a half away if you needed to, right?

And all of this because of cervical exams.

Who really expects a baby to come at 37 weeks?  Only someone who has a history of early babies or someone who has been told they are dilated.

And why does the doctor need to know anyway?  What are they going to do differently if you are dilated to 1cm or dilated to 3cm or not dilated at all?  You always get the same message.  "We'll see you when the baby comes or at your next appointment."  And heaven forbid you make it to your next appointment!