Pneumonia

I wrote this originally as a journal entry on May 14.  It's still hard to share, but it recounts the events of last week and I want to keep them here in our "family journal" as well.

"I need to write in my journal about this hectic week and some of the feelings I have.

It started with Lindi having a fever, booger nose, booger eyes, cough...all at Grandma Shinkle's house. I can handle fevers and boogers and babies that just don't feel good, even if it means having to hold them 23 hours a day. Even if the other hour is made up of small moments where someone else holds her for a minute so you can run to the bathroom every now and again.

Sometimes I felt like something was really wrong, but I would brush it off, because I'm a nurse. I can handle fevers and boogers.

On Saturday we finally got on our plane to Texas, headed to our dad. Lindi was not good and I knew it, but I kept denying it because we had to get to Texas and I was a nurse and I could handle it, but I kept panicking on the plane. What ifs...things I needed to not think about. She slept all day. She only woke up when I moved her to the stroller or when I jostled her around getting on and off the plane. She hadn't eaten solid food in a couple of days and now she was hardly nursing. She was miserable and I knew it.

We finally landed in Dallas. We got loaded into Grandma and Grandpa's truck and I sat in the backseat next to her. I sat there and deliberated. Why was I so stubborn? Why couldn't I admit to myself that she really needed help. Help I couldn't give. I finally decided to do the urgent care, but late on a Saturday night, it wasn't open. Let's just go home. But the Spirit told me no. Thank goodness He hadn't given up on my stubborn self. By the time we had her to the ER and I was holding her there in the light, I was scared by what I saw. She was really struggling to breathe. The sound was awful. "When did she get this bad?" I thought. Her temperature was 105.7. Too hot.

Those nurses swept down on her and took care of my baby while I fought feelings of failure. What kind of mom lets her baby get so sick? Why hadn't I done something sooner? I felt awful. I felt sick. No one ever questioned me, but no one needed to. I felt guilty enough.

Tylenol. Motrin. Breathing treatments. Oxygen. Fluids. Blood work. X-ray. Antibiotics. Steroids. Priesthood blessing. Within a few hours she had made a huge turn around. We were settled into an inpatient room for the night and we both slept well.

That's all hard to write. The pain is still raw and makes me ache when I remember how she was that night.

So, I spent Mother's Day in the hospital with my baby girl. I was supposed to spend the day with all of my family in my new house. We hadn't been all together in a whole month. I still haven't seen my new house and I've only gotten a small taste of the thick, humid, Texas air.

It's been four full days and we're still in the hospital. Lindi is feeling so much better. She's eating better. Her smiles are back and she's well enough to know she doesn't want to be here. But...when she sleeps her breathing is shallow and her oxygen saturation drops. She can't go home until she doesn't need oxygen for 24 hours. So, I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard. It's hard when the bed is hard and hurts your bum. It's hard when the hospital food is bland and unexciting. It's hard when you have such little space. It's hard when your baby is grouchy and you have to keep her from pulling out all her tubes and cords. It's hard when you had bargained to have your family apart for one month and one month only and suddenly you're adding on another week. I miss my boys.

I'm grateful first and foremost for my in-laws who have dropped everything to watch Hyrum, who have brought me treats, who love us so much. I'm grateful for a husband who stayed with me all day Sunday and who brings my boy Hyrum to see the girls everyday. I'm grateful for the medical staff who show a genuine interest in my sweet baby. I'm thankful my baby is well and getting better.

So, I write this mainly as a way to record it for myself, but maybe it's to help someone. To help someone as stubborn as me realize that sometimes we need help. To help someone learn to be patient. To help someone learn that life didn't always go according to plan. Maybe that someone is just a future me."

We stayed a total of 6 days in the hospital before we were able to finally come home. Lindi is still on antibiotics and steroids and breathings treatments.  The steroids give her insomnia which is awful for everyone, but especially her.  We're so grateful to be all together again.  Happy we have our Lind with us.  Her smiles are as big as ever and by golly one of these days she's gonna start walking.

Home For Sale!

We bought this home thinking it would be our forever home...the house our kids grew up in.  Life has a way of changing, though, and thank goodness we're not the ones in charge.  We are on to bigger and better things.

So, that means our beautiful home is for sale.

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, open floorplan, mature orange tree in backyard (they are delicious!), gas fireplace, gas range and oven, large laundry room, plenty of storage, large tile...

We have loved it! Someone else will too!

Find more details and pictures here: http://1909dana.homeis4sale.com/#

Jeri Lin's Birthday Bubble Bash

A couple of months ago, my dad asked if we would like to do the Bubble Run on my birthday.  "What the heck?  Why not?" I thought.  It was a 5K event with colorful foam bubble pits throughout the course.  The best part was that I got to have my whole family together (minus Elder Shinkle).  Even my sisters who didn't want to do a "race" came because they loved me and I really enjoyed walking with them.

Hyrum was definitely the cutest bubble runner, even if he didn't run (or even walk) most of the race.  He also had a traumatic episode when the yellow bubbles came up over his head.  Just ask him, he'll tell you all about it.

Husband did some jogging and some walking, all with Lindi on his back.  I tell you, she loves that backpack.  Apparently she was a huge hit.  Other racers were stopping so they could take pictures of her.  She makes friends everywhere, I tell ya.

After the race we all migrated to our house.  Husband grilled the burgers and I burnt the bacon.  Grannie supplied the cheesecake.  We turned on some March Madness and just enjoyed being all together. It doesn't happen nearly enough these days.  Best birthday ever.

Spring Break - Gilbert Temple

Guess what?  My sister thinks I'm special enough to take her to do baptisms at the temple.  And since she was able to participate in the cultural celebration (in the pouring rain), the Gilbert temple has become her temple.  She sacrificed and dedicated for that special building.  It holds a special place in her heart.  So, spring break rolled around and she asked if I would take her and a friend to do baptisms.  Of course!  

We probably could have guessed, but were still amazed when we arrived at the temple and they told us it would be about two hours until we would start doing baptisms.  They were swamped.  The chapel was full of youth in white.  They were doing laundry as fast as they could and still didn't have enough.  The youth had decided there was no better place to be then the temple that day (and week).

So, we waited.  And it was worth it.  The family members we were baptized for had been waiting a lot longer than us.  It is always such a blessing to do temple work for those that have gone before us.

Spring Training

We were kinda bummed that the Rangers weren't playing at the new Cubs' stadium this year.  We really wanted to check it out, plus it's super close!  But we made a point to make it to a Rangers game anyway.  It was a fun family afternoon.  The kids and I quickly realized that our fair skin could not withstand the blazing sun.  We sadly spent $5.42 on 1oz. of precious sunscreen.  You think I would learn, but the need for sunscreen takes me by surprise every year...

The Rangers ended up losing (BOO!) but it was a fun game to watch.  And, had I not been distracting him, Husband might have been able to walk away with a home run ball.  Maybe next year we'll be able to make it to more than one game.

Spur of the Moment Trip to Texas

When we found out that Tony's grandpa, Walter Burgess, had passed away, we knew that we would go to Texas for the funeral.  No questions asked.  That night, we sat down to look at flights and decided we didn't want to pay that much, so we sucked it up, packed up, and hit the roads first thing the next morning.  Our kids had no idea what was coming.  Gratefully, they were troopers.  We made a few pit stops to potty, eat, and most importantly wiggle, but 16 1/2 hours in the car is a long time for anyone.

(a wiggle stop)

The best part was that we didn't tell the Browns we were on our way.  They called to figure out when they needed to pick us up at the airport when we were in Abilene, only 3 hours away.  It was a happy surprise for them.

We spent a few days in Dallas with Grandma and Grandpa before driving to Houston, where the funeral would be.  We went hiking, watched Toy Story, ate good food, and went to the Perot Museum of Nature and Science (instead of the zoo [sad day] because it was raining).

In Houston we were able to hang out with the Burgess sisters and their families.  Hyrum was quick to make friends with the aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Lindi too!  Hyrum also especially liked going to the park and jumping on the trampoline.

The most special part, and our reason for going, was the funeral.  More on that next!

Straight up

On our most recent hike, we got a little adventurous.  I saw the top of a hill and decided we should hike to the top so that we could say we did.  Little did I realize from down below was how steep that "hill" was at the top...

Hyrum's not exactly excited to take a picture because of how windy it was, but can you see Tony and Lindi there at the top?  That gives you a little idea of how steep it was.  Hyrum hiked until he couldn't anymore.  Then I carried him.  When my legs were about to give out, Tony carried him and Lindi.  Then when he couldn't do that any longer, I carried Hyrum again.  Near the top, it was so steep that I couldn't carry him.  He climbed the rest of the way with my hand on his bottom, letting him know I wouldn't let him fall.  Like I said, adventurous.  Luckily, we found another way down.